These here are crazy times

Not really but I felt in a Boom Crash Opera mood when I typed that.

This weekend is the second in a row that I have spent an entire day in bed, except for brief visits to the kitchen (to eat breakfast) and to the bathroom (to shower). I wasn't even doing anything exciting, just sleeping. Alone.

Today I thought that I'd try to be productive so I visited a couple of those "Home Expo" sites. You know, the ones where you walk around all these little eighties-vintage displays of "Lazy Lawn - make your neighbour feel that the grass is always less green on THEIR side" (I'm sure that they'll be jealous of your astroturf), hideous country-style kitchens, "Ver-golas", fake brick paving and chrome bathroom fittings.

I wanted to look at blinds. I was window shopping for window dressings but the little displays were surprisingly uninformative. Also, the blinds from different companies all appeared to be identical, although in varying stages of disrepair. Then, I had to surrender my contact details just to collect some "free brochures" at the end.

These Expo places are very disorientating. I felt like Brett in the episode of Kath & Kim when he gets lost in Ikea. Where is the exit? Why do the arrows on the floor saying "Exit" all lead to an outdoor pergola display, instead of the exit? Why won't that "Postie Kate" song stop playing over and over? Why are children crying? Why are the walls getting closer and closer? Why is my throat swelling and blocking my trachea?

I made it out eventually. I think the free home visit and quote may be the next step but that also carries its inherent risks.

My new little friend. I make him do what I want and when I'm ready he dies.